I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
