When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
