My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
