Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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