I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize