i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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