even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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