New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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