Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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