Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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