I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
