Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
