bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I AM VODKA MAN
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
