Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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