I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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