I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
