I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize