we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
