Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
