Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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