but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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