i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
