Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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