i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
