I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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