big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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