Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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