I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
