i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
