when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we made out on top of his cat.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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