Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Barsexuality is the new black.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
