office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We talked him into tasing himself.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
