we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
