Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
