"it" just moved
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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