just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
