How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
