Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
