I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
