he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Congratulations! We have a period
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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