no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
