wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
