hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
