I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Mom said you looked used
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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