Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Randomize
