11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
