the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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