That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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