so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
