i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
