He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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