My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
