So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
no you cant smoke seaweed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
