Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
