I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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