next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
