the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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