and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is wine microwaveable?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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