that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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