you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
