; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
