I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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