I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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