It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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