My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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