You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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