And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
